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Escribi esta porquería en inglés, les agradecería su critica y opinion
[A]
161766646575.gif [S] ( 427.15KB , 499x300 , 161747195653.gif )
82000 Escribi esta porquería en inglés, les agradecería su critica y opinion
Anónimo

/#/ 82000 []

ES para un trabajo

Suzie recognised the writing on the letter immediately
and suddenly felt very nervous. Suzie doesn't know
anyone at her new school so she doesn't know who to
ask for help. All she can think about is how to get
home and lock herself in her room. Her parents are away
and she doesn't know anyone in the neighbourhood. For
the first time in her life she doesn't want classes to
end. She just closed her eyes and wished it would never
be time to go home. Sadly time flies by and when she
opened her eyes she was already outside the school
looking at the street with uncertainty. She started to
walk quickly, but without trying to be suspicious.
However, she couldn't take more than 5 steps without
turning to see if Frank was following her. The bus stop
wasn't far, but the walk seemed to take forever and
she felt that he was still chasing her. She hadn't gone
two blocks and she was already completely paranoid,
remembering the letter she received two years later,
with the same writing and the same words, so her first
impulse was to call a taxi. Inside the taxi she was a
little relieved, but remembering how her two friends
died after receiving the same letter she had received, she closed her eyes again and wished it would
never be time to get out of the car. Halfway there Suzie realised that it might not be a good idea
to be home alone that night, so Suzie got out of the taxi a few blocks before her house. Suzie hid in
an empty street to make sure no one was home, but it was unavoidable, she saw Frank's silhouette
chasing her again so she started running towards her house desperately. She ran with all her energy
towards her door, but before she entered she got paralyzed and remembered the last two years in a few
seconds: since she changed schools 3 times and moved house at least 5 times, everything since that
incident with Frank. Even what happened today, which happened so many times that it seemed routine.
She was completely tired of it.
So she left the door open, walked very slowly upstairs to her room, and sat down at her desk.
She took a piece of paper and wrote the same letter she herself had received, the same letter her
friends had received: "Dear Frank, you shouldn't have died like that. It was all our fault, we never
thought you would end your life because we hurt you so much, it will all be over soon".
When Suzie finished it, she tied a rope around her neck and hung it as high as she could, while
Frank's silhouette was disappearing.


>> Anónimo /#/ 82001 [X]
Terrible.

Traducción al español: Terrible.

>> Anónimo /#/ 82003 [X]
>>82001
dime donde fallo negrito, quiero corregir mi basura

>> Anónimo /#/ 82005 [X]
>>82003
Todo, son demasiadas faltas ortográficas, de sintaxis y redacción. Inscribete en un curso de inglés antes que hagas estos atentados a la lengua de Shakespeare que solo tú entiendes.

>> Anónimo /#/ 82019 [X]
Crítica sin sentido, que no aporta nada, ni destruye.

Tienes un problema de estilo: muchas repeticiones, "hispanismos"; cuida usar la lengua y sus recursos. Es una de las pocas veces que se puede decir: adverbializa más. Por otro lado, deberías dar más contexto, porque es muy poco entendible la estructura.


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